Play It By Your Rules

E41 - PIBYR: Not a Crisis. A Second Act. What Midlife Is Actually Doing to Your Body - and Why That's Good News

Not a Crisis. A Second Act.
What Midlife Is Actually Doing to Your Body - and Why That's Good News.
With Tamara Koval — Gynecologist, Longevity Advisor, Founder of Longevity for Her
What if the hormonal changes of midlife are not something to manage around — but something to move with?
Tamara Koval is a gynecologist by training, a serial career reinventor by choice, and the founder of Longevity for Her on Substack. She has been in clinical practice in Europe, worked in the pharmaceutical industry, advised government agencies in the US, and built her own company — all driven by one belief: that the second act of a woman's life (and a man's) is not a decline. It is a different kind of power.
In this conversation, we go into the biology, the psychology, and the practical reality of what midlife hormonal changes actually look like — and why most workplaces and most leaders have no script for it.
What we cover:
Why perimenopause starts in your 30s — and what the first signs actually look like
The cortisol-sleep-weight-mood cycle: why it is all connected, and what to address first
What the research says about hormone therapy — and why the message changed after 2023
The alcohol question: why two glasses hit differently now, and what to do about it
The 12-hour intermittent fasting hack you are probably already doing without knowing it
Why resistance amplifies suffering — and how acceptance breaks the cycle
Bore-out and menopause: the surprising connection between hormonal transition and disconnection from work
What Tamara means by unlearning smallness — and why the second act can be the most powerful chapter yet
 
Quick-Fire Burst:
One belief she had to drop
Obedience
A place that cracked something open
Zurich
One thing she had to unlearn
Smallness
Her non-negotiable right now
Independence. Sovereignty.
Boldest risk that paid off
Reinventing herself. Multiple times.
One word for leadership in this chapter
Kindness — understanding the position of others
The ripple she hopes her story creates
Permission — to be beautiful, wise, and powerful in this stage
 
Resources mentioned:
Tamara Substack: Longevity for Her: https://longevitylounge42.substack.com/p/you-dont-need-a-tribe-to-live-long
Meggi free Recalibration Baseline Assessment: https://meggi-pjyicln1.scoreapp.com/
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E40 - PIBYR: Don’t Ask AI for Answers. Use It to Find Your Why.

We’re getting very good at asking technology for answers.
But what if a more powerful way to use AI isn’t to let it think for us - but to let it guide our thinking? To help us sit with better questions.
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with entrepreneur, impact investor, and author Florian Kemmerich to explore a different conversation about AI - one that is less about productivity and automation, and more about reflection, vocation, and understanding ourselves better.
Florian believes one of the biggest opportunities of AI isn’t replacing human thinking. It’s helping us think more deeply. Through his work and his new venture, he is using AI to help people - particularly young people entering the world of work, but also people in midlife asking “what’s next?” - discover their vocation: the place where personal calling, strengths, and profession come together to create meaningful contribution.
Finding your vocation isn’t about being handed answers. It’s about becoming more conscious of your motivations, and unique contribution - so you can build a working life that is not only more fulfilling, but also more relevant in a rapidly changing world.
This conversation explores purpose, education, identity, experimentation, and how we can use technology to become more intentional - not less.
We covered:
Why the future may require more self-awareness, not just more knowledge
The difference between a career, a job, and a vocation
How AI can support reflection instead of replacing thinking
Why experimentation matters when exploring your next chapter
How education and work may evolve in a rapidly changing world
Practical Takeaways:
Use AI to ask yourself better questions, not to get quick answers
Treat your career as an experiment rather than a fixed path
Pay attention to what gives you energy and meaning
Build self-awareness before seeking external validation
Focus on contribution and curiosity, not only credentials
This episode is for leaders, parents, entrepreneurs, and anyone at a crossroads - especially if you’re wondering what comes next and want to stay intentional in a world increasingly shaped by algorithms.
AI can help us process more information and recognize patterns faster. The deeper work of discovering your why still belongs to us.
Explore More:
🔗 Learn more about Florian and his work: On Vocation
🚀 Explore Florian’s AI-powered vocation platform: Vocating AI
🎓 Join the vocation challenge: Vocating Challenge
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E39 - PIBYR: Turn Down the Volume: The Leadership Skill Nobody Taught You

Many high performers are so used to functioning under pressure that they no longer realize how much stress they’re carrying - until their body forces them to pay attention.
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with Dr. Lizette Warner - executive coach, keynote speaker, healthcare executive, and former Chief Science Officer - to explore the hidden cost of chronic stress in high performers.
After being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, Lizette began examining not just the stress she felt in the moment - but the long-term, chronic stress running in the background of her life. That discovery became an obsession: why are smart, capable leaders so good at adapting to pressure… that they stop noticing the damage it causes?
This conversation dives into nervous systems, emotional awareness, chronic stress, and what Lizette calls “turning down the volume” — not to do less, but to increase capacity, clarity, and sustainable performance.
Because over-adaptation may look productive from the outside.Until the body starts setting boundaries for you.
We covered:
Why high performers often normalize unhealthy levels of stress
How chronic stress quietly impacts focus, memory, emotions, and leadership
The difference between hustle and true capacity
Why regulated leaders create calmer, stronger teams
How “closing loops” reduces cognitive load and nervous system overwhelm
Practical Takeaways:
Audit your energy levels throughout the day - notice what drains or fuels you
Build small “volume-down” rituals like walking, pausing, or resetting between meetings
Close loops intentionally: clear tasks, notes, and mental tabs before moving on
Stop confusing constant activation with high performance
Prioritize capacity, not just productivity - sustainable energy changes everything
This episode is for high achievers, people pleasers, and leaders who are used to coping brilliantly - but are starting to wonder about the long-term cost of always pushing through.
Because leadership is about learning how to regulate, recover, and lead without losing yourself in the process.
Explore More:
🔗 Follow Dr. Lizette Warner on LinkedInhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/lizettewarner/
🧠 Subscribe to Lizette’s LinkedIn newsletter: Your Growth Down to a Science
🎤 Interested in Lizette’s “Turn Down the Volume” workshop or keynote work? Connect with her directly on LinkedIn.
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E38 - PIBYR: The Best Leaders Don’t Pretend to Know. They Get Curious.

What if leadership isn’t about having the right answers - but asking better questions?
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with entrepreneur, speaker and curiosity champion Tyler Chisholm to explore why curiosity may be one of the most underrated leadership skills of our time.
Tyler argues that the best leaders don’t perform certainty. They practice curiosity. And in a world shaped by uncertainty, rapid change, AI, and career reinvention, that may be a serious competitive advantage.
Together we explore how curiosity helps us challenge old conditioning, run courageous experiments, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively - including a powerful idea Tyler shares:
“The meaning of my communication is the result I get.”
In other words: communication isn’t what you intended. It’s what landed.
That insight opens up a radically more curious way of leading, listening, and speaking up.
This conversation is playful, practical, and surprisingly deep - moving from leadership behaviours and team dynamics into mindset, identity, and what it means to experiment your way into the next chapter, rather than trying to have it all figured out.
We covered:
Tyler’s three levels of curiosity: self, relational, and strategic
Why the best leaders ask better questions instead of pretending to know
How curiosity creates courage, psychological safety, and better communication
Why experimentation often beats certainty in times of change
How curiosity can turn career crossroads into possibility
Practical Takeaways:
Run small curiosity experiments - ask more questions before chasing bigger answers
Notice which “version of you” shows up - and choose consciously
Use curiosity, not judgment, in tough conversations (“Tell me more…” is powerful)
Create more space for ideas in teams - without attachment to who said what
Treat your next chapter less like a decision to get right - and more like a series of experiments to explore
This episode is for leaders, high achievers, and anyone at Basecamp wondering what comes next - and sensing the answer may not lie in pushing harder, but in getting more curious.
Because courage doesn’t always begin with a leap. Sometimes it begins with a question.
Explore More:
🔗 Connect with Tyler and explore his work: https://www.tylerchisholm.com/
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E37 - PIBYR: Your Problem Isn’t Your Pitch. It’s Your Clarity.

What if your problem isn’t your pitch - but your clarity?
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with speaker, coach, and former teacher Danny Brassell, who has built a highly successful speaking and coaching business after multiple career pivots - and one major life setback that changed everything.
From losing everything financially to rebuilding through speaking, Danny shares a simple but powerful shift: communication isn’t about impressing people - it’s about serving them.
Because before you say anything, you need to know:Who do you help?And what problem do you solve?
This is where many people get stuck. Instead of getting clear, they try to say more - listing experiences, achievements, and credentials - hoping something will land.
But without clarity, it doesn’t.
This conversation is practical, energising, and directly relevant for anyone navigating a career transition, preparing for interviews, or figuring out how to communicate their value in a way that actually connects.
We covered:
Why most people struggle with messaging - and why it’s not their pitch
The “5 C’s” of a powerful message: clarity, connection, content, call to action, and close
How to build trust quickly using RAP: relatable, authority, purpose
Why sharing failures connects more than listing achievements
How everyday stories create stronger impact than “impressive” ones
Practical Takeaways:
Get clear before you communicate - clarity beats cleverness
Stop selling yourself - focus on helping the other person
Build a “story bank” from your everyday experiences
Prioritise connection - people need to see themselves in you
Practice deliberately - confidence comes from repetition
This episode is for anyone at Basecamp - successful, experienced, and now asking: How do I position myself for what’s next?
Because the goal isn’t to say more.It’s to say what matters - clearly.
Explore More:
🎁 Free Well-Crafted Story Guide (Danny’s framework to build powerful stories):https://freestoryguide.com
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E36 - PIBYR: From High Achievement to Real Fulfillment: Why Rest, Boundaries & Mindset Matter

What if the reason you feel stuck or exhausted isn’t a lack of ambition — but a lack of alignment, recovery, and conscious thinking?
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with Dorota Kosiorek — AI startup leader, certified brain coach, and creator of Strategic Off-Season — to explore how high achievers can move beyond constant doing into more intentional, fulfilling ways of working and living.
Dorota operates in two worlds: leading high-performance teams in tech, while coaching ambitious professionals to rethink success, mindset, and energy. Her approach blends neuroscience, elite sports psychology, and real-world leadership — with a strong focus on something most high performers overlook: strategic rest.
This conversation dives into why so many successful people keep chasing “more” — and how to break that loop without losing your edge.
We covered:
Why high achievers lose sight of their “why” — and keep chasing more
The hidden loop of performance, recognition, and burnout
How subconscious patterns, self-talk, and confidence shape decisions
Why boundaries are hard — and essential for sustainable success
How to use AI intentionally without outsourcing your thinking
Practical Takeaways:
Reconnect with your “why” — you may already have what you’re chasing
Build awareness of patterns — change starts with noticing
Set boundaries early — protect your time, energy, and focus
Focus on discipline over motivation — consistency beats intensity
Prioritise recovery and small mindset shifts (e.g. “I get to”, “yet”)
This episode is for high achievers, leaders, and ambitious professionals who are successful on paper — but want more clarity, energy, and fulfillment in how they work and live.
Because real performance isn’t about doing more.It’s about thinking better, choosing consciously, and knowing when to pause.
Explore More:
🔗 Follow Dorota Kosiorek on LinkedIn: https://dorotakosiorek.com/contact/#book-a-consultation
🧠 Take Dorota’s free self-assessment for high achievers (reflection across key areas): https://elite-mind-assessment-dk.lovable.app/ 
✍️ Read Strategic Off-Season on Substack: https://substack.com/@thestrategicoffseason
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E35 - PIBYR: When Your Body Says No: A Leadership Wake-Up Call

Many leaders spend years climbing the mountain of success.
They work hard, take on responsibility, and build careers that look impressive from the outside. But at some point, the pace becomes unsustainable. Energy drops, pressure builds, and something inside begins to question whether the current path still makes sense.
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, Meggi speaks with Rachael Edmondson-Clarke, founder of ellevar, about the moment many high-performing leaders quietly reach - the moment when the body finally says “no.”
After years climbing the corporate ladder, Rachael experienced a sudden collapse that forced her to stop and reconsider how she was living and leading. What followed was not a dramatic career leap, but a deeper process of reflection, recalibration, and redefining what sustainable leadership really means.
Together they explore why so many experienced leaders ignore the warning signs for too long - and why the moment that feels like a breakdown can actually become the start of a more conscious next chapter.
We Covered
The moment Rachael’s body forced a pause after years of pushing through pressure and responsibility
Why many high-performing leaders ignore early warning signs of burnout
How external success can quietly disconnect us from our own needs and signals
Why sustainable leadership starts with learning to lead ourselves first
How moments of breakdown can become turning points for a more conscious way of working and leading
Practical Takeaways
Pay attention to early signals from your body and energy before they become crises
Build pauses and reflection into your leadership practice
Redefine success in a way that supports both impact and wellbeing
This episode is for leaders and high performers who have climbed far in their careers — and are beginning to question whether the pace, pressure, or expectations are still sustainable.
Because sometimes the moment that feels like a breakdown…is actually the beginning of a different way of leading.
Explore More
🔗 Connect with Rachael Edmondson-Clarke on LinkedInhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/rachael-edmondson-clarke/
Your life. Your rules.For more freedom, flow, and fun.
 

E34 - PIBYR: From Burnout to Purpose: A New Model of Conscious Leadership

What if the real leadership crisis isn’t strategy - but consciousness?
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with executive coach and adventurer Martin Palethorpe to explore what happens when high achievement stops feeling meaningful.
At just 27, Martin hit what he calls an early midlife crisis. He was outperforming his peers, climbing fast in the tech world, earning well - and quietly feeling empty. Instead of pushing harder, he paused. What followed was a five-year reinvention that led him from corporate executive to conscious leadership coach, guiding leaders for the past 25 years.
This is a deep conversation that moves between boardrooms and inner worlds. We talk about conditioning, intuition, stress, ego, and even spirituality - alongside very real leadership pressures, performance demands, and health challenges. While these themes are often kept separate, this episode shows they belong together. Conscious leadership isn’t about choosing between results and reflection. It’s about integrating both.
Because leading well externally requires clarity internally.
We covered:
Why success can feel hollow - even when everything looks right on paper
The difference between climbing the mountain because you want to - or because you think you should
How hidden beliefs about achievement, money, and hard work shape our decisions
Why midlife often becomes the moment of truth
The role of retreats and intentional disconnection in breaking the hamster wheel
Intuition vs. mental noise - and how to tune into deeper wisdom
Why passion is not indulgent, but intelligent
Conscious leadership and the ripple effect it creates in organizations
Health, stress, and why addressing root causes matters
Spirituality beyond religion - and why inner work is pragmatic, not “woo”
Practical Takeaways:
Audit your “why” before chasing the next promotion
Notice what consistently lights you up - energy is data
Shift how you show up before you change what you do
Build regular reflection into your leadership practice
Address root causes - in stress, health, and performance
This episode is for leaders and high achievers who feel successful - but not fully alive - and sense there must be a deeper, more conscious way to lead without abandoning ambition.
Because conscious leadership isn’t softer.It’s braver.
Explore More:
🧭 Curious about your current leadership consciousness?Take Martin’s free Quality of Mind Indicator and reflect on where mental noise may be limiting clarity, energy, and impact.
🔗 Follow Martin Palethorpe on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martinpalethorpe/
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E33 - PIBYR: Career Burnout to Career Clarity: How to Leave Soul Sucking Success

What if exhaustion isn’t a sign you’re doing too much - but a sign you’re doing the wrong things?
In this episode of Play It By Your Rules, I sit down with career strategist and licensed therapist Rachel Spekman, founder of Made for More Coaching, to explore what happens when success on paper no longer feels aligned in real life.
After building a thriving career in the startup world, Rachel reached a moment many high-achieving professionals recognize: she had the title, the trajectory, and the credibility - but something felt off. Instead of continuing to climb, she made what she calls “the largest adult calculated risk” of her life. She stepped off the ladder, retrained, and intentionally redesigned her career around her values.
This conversation dives into what career clarity requires at midlife - and why redefining success often takes more courage than chasing it.
We covered:
Why midlife often triggers the quiet “Is this it?” moment
The difference between refining, redefining, and restructuring your career
The hidden cost of reputation fear in career transitions
How to reverse engineer your ideal workday
Why clarity alone isn’t enough - and where courage comes in
What it means to design values-based, soul-aligned work
Practical Takeaways:
Audit your current work - what energizes you and what drains you
Experiment before making a radical move
Redefine success based on alignment, not external validation
Consider restructuring your work before abandoning your expertise
This episode is for leaders, high achievers, and midlife professionals who feel accomplished - but misaligned - and are ready to rethink the ladder without burning everything down.
Explore More:🔗 Follow Rachel Speckman on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelspekman/
🌱 Made for More Coaching: https://www.rachelspekman.com/
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.

E32 - PIBYR: Caring for Aging Parents Without Losing Yourself

Playing it by your rules isn’t about getting your way at all costs.A mindful rebellion means recognising that our choices affect others - especially the people we love most.
Caring for aging parents is one of the most emotional, complex, and often unspoken challenges of midlife. In this deeply human episode of Play It by Your Rules, I sat down with gerontology expert, facilitator, and founder of Talk About Aging, Janice Goldmintz.
Drawing on both her academic background and her lived experience of supporting both parents through Alzheimer’s disease, Janice shares practical wisdom, compassionate insights, and grounded guidance for navigating aging, caregiving, and family dynamics - without losing yourself in the process.
🎧 In this episode, we explore:
Why avoiding conversations about aging creates more stress later - and how to start them gently
Early signs and “quiet red flags” adult children often miss
How to approach tough topics like driving, autonomy, and end-of-life wishes without damaging relationships
Why caregiving should never fall on one person alone - and how families can share the load
How to care for aging parents and continue living your own life
Janice also shares simple, practical first steps - from normalising these conversations early to creating one central place for essential documents - that can make an enormous difference when life takes an unexpected turn.
✨ This episode is for anyone navigating midlife while supporting or worrying about the wellbeing of aging parents - or for those who want to be prepared before a crisis hits.
Because the goal isn’t perfection.It’s dignity, balance, and the highest quality of life - for everyone involved.
🔗 Learn more about Janice and her work:http://www.talkaboutaging.com
Your life. Your rules. For more freedom, flow, and fun.
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🌿 Join the Mindful Rebellion - let’s rewrite the success script.Keep your impact. Lose the exhaustion.
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